Video: Interview with The Episcopal Church's new Presiding Bishop-elect Michael Curry

[Episcopal News Service] In an 18-minute interview with the Episcopal News Service, Presiding Bishop-elect Michael Curry speaks about his priorities for leadership and administration, the role of the church in engaging God’s mission in the world, the state of race relations in the U.S., the importance of Anglican Communion partnerships, and his commitment to what he calls the Jesus Movement, to go out into the world “to bear witness to the good news of Jesus.”

Facilitating Farewell with Rites of Remembrance for a Home

[names and other identifying info in this story have been changed for privacy]

Mary had arrived in our community in grief from the recent losses of both her husband and an adult child.  What I didn’t know is how deeply she was also grieving separation from her home of many years, a hasty separation that hadn’t allowed her opportunity to intentionally honor the meaning and memories there… to say ‘thank you’ and ‘goodbye’ in her own way.   Noticing that Mary appeared particularly sad one morning, I asked, “How’s it going?”  Not surprisingly, she responded, “Not so well.  I’m really feeling it today.”  Assuming I knew what she was referring to, I continued, “You’re really feeling the grief today?”  “Yes” she answered.  But, as she continued to talk, I soon learned that what was most upsetting her right now was not the grief following the recent deaths of her husband and adult child, but the way she had been moved from her homestead.  “I went with my kids to a movie one afternoon and instead of them taking me home afterwards, they brought me here.  I know they meant well and thought that way would be easier.  And, I guess I played along with it for a while also, pretending it was for the best…. but now I can’t stop thinking that was a mistake.”(*see note below)  As we continued to explore her feelings, it became clear that she didn’t so much believe she needed to be back in her house, but that she was haunted by having been ‘taken’ from it without a chance to say goodbye to all that it had meant and represented.  “What if we could go back to your house together to say goodbye on your own terms, honoring all the memories there, giving thanks for what it provided, and blessing it for the next family?”  Mary’s eyes brightened and after a pause she smiled and said simply, but with clear conviction, “I’d like that.”

With Mary’s permission, I contacted her family to make the arrangements.  They were concerned that she might be shocked upon seeing its current condition – empty.  After relocating Mary, they had quickly cleared out the house and staged it for sale (in fact, we also needed to coordinate our visit with the realtor so that there wouldn’t be a showing while we were there).  I assured them that I would prepare her for seeing things physically rearranged and the house mostly empty, while also suggesting to them that Mary would likely see past all that and be more attentive to what wasn’t as visible to the rest of us as we walked from room to room remembering stories, offering thanks, and bidding the spaces farewell with her blessings.  For safety, a colleague from our resident care team would accompany Mary and me the afternoon of our trip.  I prepped my colleague by reminding her about the intention of this ritual and reinforcing our aim of facilitating Mary’s memories and actions of farewell – listening with compassion while non-anxiously accompanying her from room to room without rushing to reassure her or diffuse the power of her feelings in this process.  We would walk with her on this emotional journey, providing companionship as she asserted control to say goodbye in her own way.

On our drive to Mary’s house, I began the journey by asking her to tell us the story of how she and her husband had decided on this particular house in this location.  As we pulled into her drive, I reaffirmed the purpose of trip and asked Mary how she hoped to feel after this farewell visit.  “I don’t know.  But, I know this is important” she answered.  As we entered her home, I reminded Mary that we were there for support, would walk with her as she went through the house at her own pace, and that we’d join her in giving thanks and offering blessings to each room and space that she wanted to visit.  Mary led us first to the master bedroom, where she initially noted how much of her stuff was missing and even how the bed linens weren’t hers.  Within seconds, however, she was sitting on that bed, looking fondly out through a sliding glass door into a garden patio and telling us stories about her husband as she let tears flow freely.  Within each room, once she seemed to have concluded her stream of memories, I would ask if there was anything else she wanted us to know before we offered thanks and blessed the room.  When the stories in each room were done, I invited her to say out loud what she was most thankful for from those memories.  My colleague and I would affirm her thanksgivings in a brief prayer form.  To close our time in each room, I invited Mary to offer an affirming word of blessing for the next family to live there while she or I symbolically sprinkled holy water from a small aspergillum. Our journey concluded in her garden, where we collected some fruit and even a trimming from one of her favorite plants to take back to our community for symbolic continuity.  Before getting back into the car, we all took one last look at the property from the curb and restated some of the thanksgivings and blessings that had been offered.  I asked Mary, “Though we’ll never want to forget all that this home has been for you, are we now ready to say farewell to the structure and offer it in love to the next family who will build their own memories here?”  Mary smiled and softly said, “I believe so… yes.”   

submitted by request to a blog for California Lutheran Home's Center for Spirituality & Aging 
http://www.spiritualityandaging.org/facilitating-farewell-with-rites-of-remembrance-for-a-home-by-rev-michael-bell/

by The Rev. Michael S. Bell, Chaplain with Episcopal Communities & Services

*NOTE: Some believe that this process of relocating someone with use of a seemingly pleasant distraction might work well for someone with advanced dementia.  Mary, however, did not have dementia at the time.  

15 THINGS ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS CAN TEACH THE CHURCH

By Rebekah Simon-Peter
June 15th, 2015
http://www.ministrymatters.com/all/entry/6101/15-things-alcoholics-anonymous-can-teach-the-church?utm_campaign=shareaholic&utm_medium=facebook&utm_source=socialnetwork

Alcoholics Anonymous has forever changed the church. And it has done it right under our noses. Or better put, in our church basements, classrooms and meeting rooms. AA introduced the concept of spirituality apart from religion. It took away the middleman. It has put into place the most successful self-duplicating, small group model in recent history. And it has done this by emulating the model of the early church. On June 10, AA turned 80 years old. From extremely humble beginnings, an estimated 23 million people in the US now live with long-term recovery from alcohol and drug addiction.

Here are the top 15 things AA can teach the church:

1. Stick to your primary purpose. AA doesn’t try to be all things to all people. Its primary purpose is to help other alcoholics achieve sobriety. That’s what it does, and it does it very well. If someone wants to apply the 12 steps to overeating, smoking or hoarding, a new fellowship is formed. This laser-like focus allows for great success. What if the church kept the main thing the main thing? Such as making disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world?
2. You can’t keep it unless you give it away. AA members know that in order to maintain their sobriety, they have to work with others and share the message of recovery. That’s how Bill W. and Dr. Bob got sober. And it hasn’t changed since then. Evangelism is built right into the 12 steps. 
3. Get a sponsor. Sponsorship is the key to success. Every AA member who hopes to remain sober gets a sponsor to help them work the 12 steps. Then they turn around and sponsor someone else. What if churches focused on creating sponsors or disciples who disciple the next person? 
4. Insist on experiencing God. God is very loosely defined, if at all in AA. Each person works on their own concept of God, and it changes and grows as they change and grow. The church has made much of trying to define God instead of helping people experience God. 
5. Promise a spiritual awakening. It’s the results of working the 12 steps. The church is short on this promise and long on trying to get people to join. 
6. Focus on spirituality. Deepened spirituality is the marker of growth among AA members and groups. Is that what drives your church growth? 
7. You don’t need a building. AA has an estimated 2 million members worldwide in 115,000 groups. Most of them meet in someone else’s space, paying rent instead of mortgage and repairs. That frees up a lot of time and energy to stick to their primary purpose. 
8. Don’t sponge. AA has a tradition of being self-supporting through its own contributions. Is your church looking for someone else to foot the bill? 
9. There are no stars. Anonymity, not celebrity, is the key to the success of this program. Humility is also a characteristic of Christ. How about your church? 
10. Don’t shoot your wounded. Relapsers are welcomed back with open arms. Judgment, or the perception of judgment, is often felt in churches. 
11. Have fun. Lots of laughter emanates from AA rooms as people laugh at their former follies. “We absolutely insist on enjoying life” is an oft-quoted line from the "Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous." Laughter keeps people coming back. 
12. Let the hierarchy serve the local group, and not the other way around. The General Service Office of AA exists only to serve the local groups. Denominational offices sometimes give the opposite impression. 
13. Share your story. Early Christians had stories of salvation and they shared them. This also helped them stay strong in the faith and hold one another accountable. AA is all about sharing stories. 
14. Focus on the newcomer. The newcomer is the most important person in the rooms of AA. They are actively welcomed, told to keep coming back, and encouraged to get a sponsor. Their transformation begins immediately. Churches too often stay focused on the longtimers, and are reluctant to make space for newcomers. 
15. Expect resurrection! People come back from the dead all the time in AA rooms. It’s what AA specializes in. New life is expected and demanded. How about in your church?

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Rebekah Simon-Peter blogs at rebekahsimonpeter.com. She is the author of "The Jew Named Jesus" and "Green Church."

Music as medicine - we, too, are exploring the possibilities with our residents

Episcopal Communities & Services

http://youtu.be/7En1orUQtPk

Taking a break from Facebook, this blog, and other social media this year

This blog will remain active, but I won't be actively posting this year (2015).  I'm taking a break from regular postings on social media this year to see what new routines and perspectives emerge.

(posted on Facebook - January 7. 2015) "To encourage some new routines and perspectives, I’m taking a break from regular browsing and posting on Facebook. This account remains active to maintain existing connections and to facilitate communication via occasional messaging. Blessings of peace and wellness..."